


city of dreams

by pepi_peachnbeans



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: 60's AU, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Stonewall Riots, im sorry for this, jjp are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans
Summary: In Jaebum's city of dreams there would be no hate. He would be able to walk down the street holding Jinyoung's hand, he would be able to kiss him when he drops him off at work, rather than stolen glances and quick smiles.





	city of dreams

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys this is a little quick thing i wrote based on the stonewall riots//vietnam war//korean war

**i.**

It was when Jaebum was 10 years old that he knew he wanted to move. He had done it once before, given he had been young at the time, hardly pushing 5 years old. He also barely remembered a thing from Korea, just enough to know how different America has been at first. But as he grew older, those memories faded. The only way that he held onto his Korean heritage is that his tongue never got the hang of either the language or the food. 

There was also always the fact kids would sometimes pull their eyes back and scream 'Charlie in the tree' and chant 'gook'. At lunch they would always mock the food that his mother packed him, it always being homemade Korean food. They would mock his accent, and whenever the teacher called on him to read a paragraph, that was like his own person hell. 

But that wasn't why Jaebum wanted to go to New York City. He has always known, for practically ever, that he wanted to make music. And what better place to do that than New York City? It was the big apple, it is the City of Dreams. 

**ii.**

He was 15 when he began to realize that he was different. It wasn't hard not to. While all the boys in his school were always watching the girls in their school, focusing on the way their skirts hung over their legs, and how they breasts were finally growing. And at football games, while the guys in the stands were focusing on the cheerleaders shake their little pompoms with their large smiles and bigger voices, Jaebum's eyes were on the field watching the football players. 

And it was when he was 16 years old when it hit him that he was gay. The realization made his blood run cold, and made him rush through his front foor to run into his room, his mother screaming at him in Korean for not taking off is shoes and for bringing mud into the house. But he didn't listen because all he could do was close the door and slide down against it, not wanting his mother to see him cry. 

_Men don't cry_. 

But he was crying, shaking with utter terror as he brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head into his arms, because he knew what they do to boys like him. He has seen how the public views faggots. They were outcasted, frowned upon, discriminated against, hated. Forced into conversion therapy, a vast majority ended up dead at too young of an age. And the fact that there was something so wrong with him that his would happen made him cry harder. 

He wasn't a son his parents can be proud of. He was their only child, and he was just 16, and already turned out to be such a fucking failure. He couldn't give his mother the three grandchildren she wanted, he would just forever be a pussy in his father's eyes. 

Jaebum was 15 when he realized that he was different, and he was 16 when he made a promise with himself to never ever tell a single soul about his secret. 

**iii**. 

At 18, Jaebum finally got to leave his shitty and run down town. He was 18 when he gathered enough money, getting it from doing every and any small jobs around town he can, from walking dogs, to mowing lawns, to take the train from Baltimore Marlyand all the way up to New York City. 

The apartment he got for rent wasn't the best, and that was evident when he dropped off the very few bags he brought with him. But it would do. There was that childhood giddiness inside of him, that he couldn't help but let out a grin as he let himself fall onto the mattress, the springs creaking, threatening to give out, but he didn't care. Because this was his apartment, and he was here in New York. 

Sometime later on, after he finished unpacking and setting up his apartment, he opened the window, after a struggle, and climbed onto the roof. From where he was at, he could see all the tall buildings, the cars, all the lights, the city life buzzing even at this time. 

He breathed in the air, not minding how it was slightly cold out, the wind causing his flannel to flap in the wind. To light his cigarette, he had to cup his hand and try several times before he was able to actually get it to light. It was after he took a drag that he heard the voice, speaking in a language that he hasn't heard from anyone but his parents, in what felt like forever, 

_"You know those things will kill you right?"_

**iv**. 

In front of him was a boy, clearly not much older than him. He was Korean, evident from both his looks, and the fact that he addressed Jaebum in the language. It had been years, absolute years since he has spoken to anyone besides his parents in Korean, and the fact that there was someone in front of him, who can speak the language, made him increasingly happier. "You can speak Korean?" 

"Of course," the unknown boy scoffed as he sat down next to Jaebum, hands crossed behind his back. "I'm from Korea, I moved here when I was seven." 

"I was five." Jaebum nodded. "Not to sound mean, but you look a little young to be living here on your own. Or do you live here with your parents?" 

"I was kicked out," he admitted, as he cocked his head to the side, watching Jaebum. 

"Oh," Jaebum said slightly surprised by that. "What for?" 

"Dad didn't like it that I was a cock sucker," he bitterly laughed, as he brushed some of his dark hair to the side. "When were you born?" 

"January." 

"September," he grinned. "Nice to meet you hyung," he offered his hand. "I'm Jinyoung." 

"Jinyoung," he liked the way his name sounded coming from his mouth. "I'm Jaebum." 

And All Jaebum could think is that _yeah- this really is my city of dreams._

 **vi**. 

Having Jinyoung in his life was amazing, but he hated the way that his heart began to beat quicker every time that Jinyoung gave him that smile, the one where the corners of his eyes crinkled. 

He knew that he liked Jinyoung. 

And it was so damn conflicting. Ever since he knew he was gay, he hid it, it was shoved back as far into his mind as he could. He shoved it deep inside of him, locked it up, and tossed away the key. He swore to never tell anyone, and he swore to nevr act on his urges. But then Park Jinyoung comes into his life. 

Jaebum didn't have many friends in his life, but maybe that was better, because now he had the best one he ever could ask for. Jinyoung was hilarious, he was intelligent, hilarious, absolutely adorable. Better yet, there was never no pressure to have to talk in English, he never had to worry about that. And yes- he definitely had a crush on Jinyoung. 

Sometimes it would taunt him, when late at nights the two would lay next to each other, talking about anything and everything. How easy he could reach out, and hold Jinyoung, kiss him, and run his hands up his sides. But shame always would follow afterwards, because he _wasn't_ Jinyoung. He couldn't be open about his homosexuality, even though he knew more often than not, Jinyoung was just trying to fake it until he made it. He hasn't even been able to tell Jinyoung that he is gay. If he can't do that, how can he kiss him, or do anything else with him? 

But apparently he could, because it was one night, after Jinyoung told him his dreams of becoming a famous actor, that he leaned over and kissed him. It was hardly a kiss, he just brushed his lips against Jinyoung, but it caused a rage to stir in his stomach, and a thunderstorm in his head. It seemed so right, it felt so right, but everything else was screaming at him that it wasn't. 

"Hyung?" Jinyoung's voice was quiet, and laced with fear. He acted as if Jaebum was a ticking bomb. 

Sitting there, he sat in silence just staring at Jinyoung. At how his hair that hasn't been cut in awhile was long enough to cover his ears. How his nose ended, and the curve of his lips. 

Liking Jinyoung felt right. 

Breathing in again, he leaned forward again to properly kiss Jinyoung this time and Jinyoung kissed him again. When he pulled away the second time, Jinyoung was the one looking up at him. "Hyung, kiss me again." 

And so Jaebum did. 

**vii**. 

In Jaebum's city of dreams there would be no hate. He would be able to walk down the street holding Jinyoung's hand, he would be able to kiss him when he drops him off at work, rather than stolen glances and quick smiles. 

They weren't suppose to be there, and he thought that he could get them out. 

The Stonewall Inn was one of the rare places that would let LGBT+ in. Police raids were happening all over New York, but Jaebum had let Jinyoung talk him into going. 

It was the worse mistake of his life. 

As soon as the raid started it was followed by a riot. Jinyoung held onto his hand, but people were looking at them, and he knew they knew, he knew that they were both gay, that they were dating. The shame creeped up on him again, and he tried to pull his hand out of Jinyoung's, he wanted to _get the fuck out_ because all he could hear was the yelling. There was fire, shouting, things being thrown. 

Jinyoung only let go of his hand when he fell. 

At first, Jaebum didn't know what was happening, and he whipped around and it was like everything stopped. Dropping down onto his knees, he leaned over Jinyoung, there was blood, so much blood, and he didn't even know from what. The riot is still happening at full swing, and it was like Jaebum couldn't even focus as he reached out for Jinyoung. "Jinyoungie," he called, the wetness and desperation is his voice, he was already crying. 

He called out something, that looked a lot like Jaebum's name, and he reached out for him feeling his stomach, feeling as his blood covered his hands. And no, no, no, no, this isn't what he meant when he said he wanted to run his hands over Jinyoung's sides. 

He's wailing now, arms wrapping around Jinyoung as he tries to lift him up, tries to pull him closer. Jinyoung is a dead weight, and all he can do his hold him close, and cradle his head as he cries. Jinyoung's talking to him, trying to tell him something, but Jaebum just can't fucking hear over all the shouting and the sound of his own heart breaking. 

Being gay wasn't wrong, loving Jinyoung would never been fucking wrong. 

The crowd was clearing, and a hand was roughly pulling Jaebum away from him, a police officer. The side of his wants to be consumed by anger, wants to hurt the police officer, they were the ones who started all of this. People were pulling Jinyoung away from him now, to get him into an ambulance, and all Jaebum can do is scream at them in Korean to let him go with Jinyoung, but there's people telling him no, he is being held back by an officer. He is just making them angrier, their telling him to ' _speak english you faggot_ '. "Let me go with him," he pleads finally in English, he just wants Jinyoung, he just wants to see Jinyoung. 

"No." 

Growling, finally angry, he pushes himself as far away from the officer again, as he follows after where he saw them take Jinyoung. The entire time that he is running to the nearest hospital, his mind is taunting him, replaying Jinyoung's words over and over again in his head, ' _I love you_ '. 

And all Jaebum wants is to hold Jinyoung, and kiss his declarations of love into his mouth, and into his skin. 

But in Jaebum's city of dreams there is hatred and their is fear. 

Jinyoung is pronounced dead on arrival. 

 


End file.
